Not Just a Sock: Debunking Myths About Sex Toys for People with Penises

Let’s be honest—when people hear the phrase “sex toy,” they often imagine a shimmering wall of vibrators in a boutique that smells like lavender and liberation. Maybe there’s a pastel wand named something flirty like Daisy or Serenity. But when it comes to sex toys for people with penises, the tone takes a sharp turn. Suddenly, it’s less Sex and the City and more Sin and the Shameful Sock. Why? Because somewhere along the line, society decided that people with vulvas “enhance” their sexuality, while those with penises “substitute” for it. And let’s call out the elephant in the room: we refer to sex toys for men as male masturbators—which sounds more like a robotic farming implement than something designed for pleasure.

It’s time for a full-scale rebrand—and a truth bomb. Sex toys for people with penises are sex toys, period. Not perversions. Not punishments. And certainly not desperate cries for human contact.

Myth #1: “Only lonely guys use sex toys.”

This is the saddest myth of them all—both for its inaccuracy and its imagination deficit. A 2023 study published in Sexual Health Review found that 41% of men ages 18–45 reported using a sex toy in the last year, and over 60% of them were in relationships. So let’s be clear: these aren’t dusty basement dwellers shamefully whispering to latex. These are people integrating pleasure tools into a healthy sex life—solo and partnered.

And let’s not forget: sex toys for people with vulvas are often celebrated as part of self-care and empowerment. You don’t hear people saying, “She must be lonely if she owns a vibrator.” No, she’s a goddess, an icon, a sexual wellness enthusiast. But flip the anatomy, and somehow he’s one step away from writing poetry to his Fleshlight. Please.

Myth #2: “If you need a sex toy, something’s wrong with your sex life.”

Ah, the ol’ “sex toys mean failure” narrative. This one’s the emotional equivalent of tripping on your own ego. Let’s use a kitchen metaphor (because who doesn’t like kitchen metaphors?): you can fry an egg in a pan, or you can fry an egg in a cast-iron skillet infused with duck fat and truffle oil. Both options get the job done, but one of them will make you sing.

In fact, integrating sex toys into partnered sex has been shown to increase communication, satisfaction, and experimentation—all the stuff couples therapists charge $200 an hour to say. According to a 2022 Kinsey Institute survey, couples who use sex toys together report higher levels of intimacy and sexual satisfaction than those who don’t. So no, toys aren’t a sign that something’s broken. They’re often a sign that someone’s finally reading the instructions.

Myth #3: “Men are too simple for sex toys.”

Congratulations! You’ve unlocked the laziest stereotype in the book: the idea that people with penises are just walking, grunting impulses who get aroused by a light breeze and a microwave beep. Let’s put this myth out to pasture, where it belongs.

Anatomically, penises respond to all sorts of nuanced stimulation—suction, vibration, temperature changes, pressure, rhythm, angle. This isn’t simplicity; this is a finely tuned instrument waiting to be played like a chart-topping sax solo. Modern sex toys understand this. There are strokers with AI-controlled suction patterns, double-ended sleeves for mutual play, and prostate massagers that look like they were designed by Elon Musk’s hornier cousin. If these toys are simple, then your smartphone is just a walkie-talkie.

Myth #4: “Sex toys for guys are creepy.”

This myth is the result of two things: bad marketing and worse terminology. “Male masturbator” sounds like a phrase someone’s grandpa says before calling the cops. Compare that to “pleasure wand” or “self-love tool,” and you see the branding gap immediately.

But here’s the reality: the design of many penis-inclusive sex toys is now sleek, discreet, and downright stylish. Some look like Bluetooth speakers. Others resemble minimalist thermoses. If you can leave your Jade Egg out on the counter like it’s a design choice, you should be able to do the same with your Tenga Flip. The only creepy thing is how conditioned we’ve become to be grossed out by male pleasure tools—tools that are literally helping people feel more comfortable in their bodies and expand their sexual self-awareness.

Myth #5: “Sex toys are just for people with vulvas.”

Let’s take a moment to applaud marketing history for managing to turn the entire sex toy aisle into a pastel, vulva-centric wonderland. There are sparkles. There are swirly fonts. There are entire shelves that look like a bachelorette party collided with a fairy tale. And while there’s nothing wrong with that vibe, it’s helped fuel the myth that sex toys are somehow exclusively for people with vulvas. As if everyone else should simply salute the silicone and move on.

Reality check: pleasure is not anatomical gatekept. In fact, a 2021 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found that sex toy use is on the rise among people with penises, especially among younger users who are more open to exploring non-traditional tools. The market is catching up too. We're seeing strokers, prostate massagers, vibrating rings, and hands-free toys that are just as thoughtfully designed, just as innovative, and just as deserving of their own dramatic unboxing video.

Why It’s Totally Okay (and Healthy) to Use Sex Toys Solo or With a Partner

Sexual wellness isn’t gendered, and it certainly isn’t limited to a single set of parts. It’s a wide, beautiful buffet—and leaving people with penises out of the fun is like banning forks at a feast. You deserve toys that suit your body, your curiosity, and your style, no matter what’s going on below the belt. It's not about “his or hers”—it's about yours, mine, and maybe ours (with fully charged batteries).

Let’s drop the guilt like it's a pair of pants on date night. Using a sex toy isn’t “cheating on your hand” or your partner. It’s a way to connect with your own body, learn what feels good, and bring more confidence and creativity into partnered sex. It’s also a way to explore pleasure at your own pace, free of pressure, performance anxiety, or the distraction of someone else’s blinking smartwatch.

For couples, toys can break up routine, increase arousal, and reduce pressure for either partner to "perform" a certain way. Especially for those navigating physical limitations, chronic pain, erectile unpredictability, or just long dry spells, toys are the unsung heroes of adaptive, joyful sex.

Most importantly, it reaffirms the message that pleasure isn’t something we have to earn, justify, or apologize for. It’s something we get to cultivate—with hands, mouths, toys, laughter, and maybe a well-timed lubricant commercial.

Sex toys for people with penises deserve better PR, fewer euphemisms, and a seat at the adult toy table next to their glittery, rabbit-eared cousins. So whether you’re solo, partnered, curious, cautious, or just ready to swap shame for satisfaction, there’s no better time to retire the myths and embrace your pleasure toolkit.

And let the afterglow begin.